Playful Steps Toward Independence

Hi everyone,

We were very happy to have the privilege of spending time with your children. Thank you for believing in the concept of the parents’ nook.

Last week, after observing the children and speaking with a few moms, we realized that we might want to collaborate on a write-up about separation. I prefer not to use the term "anxiety" because we believe that the feelings children express in new environments are part of their instincts. It’s common for children to react this way when they notice that they are in a setting that differs from their routine.

This is a normal experience. As adults, we encounter similar feelings frequently.

Virginia has proposed a plan on how we are going to establish a rhythm in the Cupertino Nook, which we believe will help tremendously as we transition slowly.

Our weekly updates from the lead facilitator will include observations and a plan for the upcoming week, and I encourage you all to go through them. Please feel free to ask any questions; we would be happy to provide answers and may often work together with you to find solutions.

After each Nook session, we will send out a feedback form, but simply replying would also be very helpful to us.

Having a consistent group of children and caregivers seated in a designated area will aid the transition. The play materials will mostly be similar, creating a sense of familiarity.

In a Nook setting, we believe that the play environment evolves around the development of the child's will through activities involving movement, speech, gesture, play, and work. The youngest child in the Nook has the freedom to move, and we honor and protect each child’s initial experience of play. By creating space for play, we are honoring and revering one of the highest human qualities.

There are a few thoughts regarding working with separation that come to mind:

Rhythm

Inspired by Waldorf pedagogy, we aim to create an environment in Nooks where children know what to expect and when to expect it through a consistent rhythm. This structure can be particularly soothing for children experiencing anxiety or nervousness, as it provides a sense of security and familiarity. The steady rhythm reduces uncertainty, allowing children to feel grounded and confident about what will happen next.

Rest

We encourage in promoting a healthy, sustainable rhythm that includes plenty of rest. Including substantial rest in the daily rhythm allows for children to move inward & reflect and provides them with the time and opportunity to move through their many new and complex experiences in the world.

Protection

Parents, caregivers, and teachers can work to promote a sense of security within the young child in which they are at one with their environment, their body is a shelter, and their surroundings are safe. By showering the child with love and protection and by allowing them to play freely, children may experience a decrease in stress and anxiety-provoking responses to otherwise stressful events.

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We would like to propose that, as a first step for next week, moms and caregivers sit in a designated area near the door where they can engage in activities such as working on their computers or reading a book while enjoying a cup of tea. It would be beneficial for the child to understand that their caregiver is nearby and is available to talk about specific materials, such as the music circle, stacking toys, or the rocking boat, as the child plays and explores. This way, the child can always return to their caregiver whenever they need reassurance.

We suggest maintaining this location consistently, even if there is some resistance. If we are in the playroom, we should focus on either observing the child or working quietly without interrupting their play or providing assistance in their play. The children should feel free to come over and sit with their caregiver whenever they wish.

We would try to introduce a beginning circle and ending circle with clean up time so that they know that this is when play starts and this is when it ends, it will help with the rhythm.

Our main intention in this particular nook would be rhythms through music circles and gravitating them towards independent play. We do think play is the work of childhood, and they invent things when they are doing parallel play or playing by themselves.

We combine the philosophies of Waldorf, Charlotte Mason, Emmi Pikler, and Alan Kay to create Nook environments.

We would like to quote Emmi Pikler here: Journalist Ruth Mason characterizes the application of the Pikler method as ‘respectful’ care of infants. Mason states: The essence of Dr. Pikler’s philosophy can be summed up in one word: Respect…. Dr. Pikler came to the conclusion that infants are born competent and that their competencies should be recognized and respected. That means first and foremost that parents should observe their babies to learn from them what they know, what they like, and who they are. (Mason, 2000,10)

Lastly,

As defined by John Bowlby, a pioneer in the development of Attachment Theory, “Attachment behavior is any form of behavior that results in a person attaining or maintaining proximity to some other clearly identified individual who is conceived as better able to cope with the world” (Bowlby, 1988a, p29). Attachment is a significantly important aspect of early emotional development in infants and develops around her relationship with their central caregiver. Attachment forms the basis of human bonds, affecting our approach to relationships with others and forming our larger scale psychology; Wallin indicates this when saying, “Children with a history of secure attachment show substantially greater self-esteem, emotional heath and ego resilience” (Wallin, 2007, p.23).

Keeping these points in mind, we will resume our Nooks next week and see where it goes.

Looking forward to seeing you all next week.

If you have questions about anything, please feel free to reach out. We would love to work with you to make it a smooth transition for everyone.

Thanks

Tanaya